At this time of year it’s important to be prepared. Ensure that you keep a winter survival kit in your car at all times. Especially in the winter. If you don’t have a car, keep it in someone elses. You could save a life.
If you’re not in a car, for example on a bus or a train, you should keep your winter survival kit in your pocket, or in a bag. Don’t keep it in your car if you’re on a bus or a train; that won’t work at all and may even breach fire regulations.
Winter Survival Kit:
Shovel: Or a spade, if you know what the difference is. Don’t bring a fork or a hoe. They’re funnier but not so practical in a snowdrift.
Warm clothes: Hopefully you will already be wearing clothes before you leave the house.
Kettle: If electric you’ll need a long extension lead. Plug it in at home before you leave and unwind it as you go.
Spare Pants: A selection of different sizes and genders is useful. You don’t know how long you might be trapped for. Or who with.
Chocolate: Maybe some Toblerone. The Swiss know all about snow.
Warning Triangle: To let people know you have Toblerone.
Shark repellent: Do you want to risk it? What about when the snow melts?
Duvet: Blankets are old fashioned really aren’t they. Do you want to be judged by the young policeman who finds you?
Mattress: You’ve got this far with the bedding arrangements. Why stop now?
A candle and matches: In case of battery failure.
A battery: In case of candle failure.
A portable generator: In case of candle and battery failure.
A fishing hook and line: A good line could be ‘Do you come here often?’ Try it out on the policeman.
Torch: For lighting up stuff, or putting in your mouth and then looking in the rear view mirror and scaring yourself, or even for making shadow puppets to entertain hitch hikers.
Axe: To entertain hitch hikers.