Receive a beautiful ‘hand tied’ bouquet of flowers. Briefly wonder why it is called that. What on earth else could have possibly tied it if not hands? Put on table and admire. Move on.
Much later on remember that have left on table and think probably ought to put it into a vase so it lives a bit longer. Fetch vase. You only have two. Choose biggest one. (Smallest one is actually a pint glass).
Briefly wonder why you talk about keeping flowers ‘alive’ when they’re not. They have had their heads cut off. That’s usually enough to finish most things off. Apart from chickens maybe. But who puts chickens in a vase?
Anyway, stop over-thinking and put beautiful hand-tied bouquet of flowers into biggest vase.
Vase is too small. Untie beautiful hand-tied bouquet by hacking at rustic string holding it together with bread knife. Use bread knife as have lost all scissors. This is because it is Christmas and it is traditional for all scissors and Sellotape to go into hiding until Boxing Day.
Pick flowers up from floor. Stuff flowers back into vase. Get other vase for all the left over flowers. There are a lot of left over flowers. Other vase is too small. Decide to use coffee pot as vase substitute.
Flowers looking a bit odd.
Decide to segregate flowers to assist with design process. Feel a bit guilty. De-segregate flowers. Pick flowers up from floor.
Fish excess rustic string out of vase. Pick flowers up from floor.
Put excess flowers into coffee pot. Tell self do not like ‘over-arranged’ flowers and much prefer country-style rustic fashion.
Realise that in all the excitement have forgotten put any water into vases or coffee pot.
Briefly wonder if the term ‘hand-tied’ bouquet is sarcasm.