A Furry Hat is for Life, Not Just for Christmas.

Alex Voakes

A hat is for life, not just for Christmas.

I want to talk to you today about responsible ownership of furry hats.

Every year, encouraged by celebrities,  thousands of people ask for the same Christmas present, the latest furry hat on the market, only to discard them a few months later once the weather improves and the novelty wears off. Fashions change and the poor unfortunate furry hat is abandoned.

Each winter the problem is epidemic in London especially. Exotic furry hats are given as Christmas presents, carried around by the bright young things of the glittering West End for a short period of time and then brutally discarded once they are no longer in style.

Or more and more frequently now we see the chilling sight of the furry hat worn as a status symbol by gangs of young men on the wild streets of East London.

Come summer, we will see these poor furry creatures abandoned by their fashionable owners and replaced by more up to date, weather-specific hats such as the imported American baseball cap. The traditional British Bowler and its summertime equivalent the knotted hanky are rarely seen in London these days, both almost extinct now,  just two more innocent victims of the vagaries of fashion.

Let’s also not forget the cruel and unnecessary interbreeding of furry hats that takes place in the name of fashion. These days most hats are required to have ears but some have now been so overbred that their ears are effectively just on show for cosmetic purposes, rendering the hat deaf. Other furry hat ears have been bred to become misshapen and hang down so low that the ear is left prone to external damage.

Every year our inspectors rescue more and more unwanted furry hats from charity shops and car boot sales. It’s heartbreaking to see them,  frightened and abandoned, unwanted by society.

Many have been badly treated, left out in the rain, or washed on a hot cycle. Once the cute appearance of the furry hat is ruined by such harsh treatment it is generally discarded by the wearer without further thought and almost impossible for us to rehome.

So please, next time you’re tempted by that cute little bundle of fur in the shop window, remember, a furry hat is for life. Not just for Christmas.

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